1) You're 6'4", can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, but you still cry when your mother yells at you.

2) You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit 2 Mortadella sandwiches, 4 oranges and 3 bananas into a regular paper lunch bag.

3) Your father owns 5 houses, has $300,000 in the bank, but still drives a '76 Monte Carlo.

4) You share a bathroom with your 5 brothers, have no money, but drive a $35,000 Camaro.

5) Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant, and travel agent are all blood relatives.

6) You consider dunking a pack of "S" cookies in milk a nutritious breakfast.

7) You live in a 900 square foot bungalow, but still have 2 kitchens (one in the basement).

8) Your 2 best friends are your cousin and brother-in-law's brother-in-law.

9) You wear a World Cup shirt and indoor soccer shoes to midnight mass.

10) Despite the hair on your back, you still try to impress the ladies by wearing your "Just do me" tank top.

11) At least 5 of your cousins live on your street.

12) All 5 of those cousins are named after your grandfather.

13) A high school diploma and 1 year of community college has earned you the title of "professore" among your aunts.

14) You are a card-carrying VIP at more than 3 dance clubs.

15) You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.

16) In some capacity, there is a dump truck in your life.

17) If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 6", it is presumed his mother had an affair.

18) You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.

19) There are more than 28 people in your bridal party.

20) You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.

21) 30 years after immigrating, your parents still say "Pronto" when answering the phone.

22) You are offended when the wedding you attend serves less then 3 fish courses.

23) Plastic on the furniture is normal.

24) You only eat fresh (wet) mozzarella.

25) You know how to pronounce "manicotti".

26) After you work out you can ring out your t-shirt as if you just took a shower in it.

27) You've called someone a "mamaluke".

28) When someone dies in your family you eat baked ziti for a month.

29) When you are agitated you speak in tongues by saying "sweet mother of mine" in perfect Italian, but that is the extent of your bilingual abilities.

30) You wear "wife beaters".

31) You've seen the guy in A/C wearing shorts, perfect white Reebok classics (no socks), a half zipped up Nike wind jacket showing off his chest hair/gold chains, fat gut, smoking half a cigar and thought he was the coolest guy you've ever seen.

32) You laugh when someone keeps cash in their wallet.

33) You love pinkie rings.

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1) You have a Nona not a Grandma.

2) You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00.

3) You know what a rice ball really is.

4) Your car has a green, red, and white bow with a horn attached to the mirror.

5) You know the words to 'Dominick the Donkey' by heart.

6) Christmas Eve... ONLY FISH!

7) Favorite slow song... Ti Amo.

8) Have a gold chain, cross, and your horn.

9) You have a stupid nickname.

10) "Fuhggetaboutit"!

11) John Gotti is your role model.

12) You love Nutella... ANYTIME!

13) Your Nona's meatballs are the best.

14) You eat zepolis whenever you go to 18th Ave Festival.

15) You're always dressed to impress.

16) Favorite movies: The Godfather/Goodfellas/A Bronx Tale/The Last Don... and you live by them!

17) Guys gotta respect their women... OR ELSE!

18) You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you.

19) Pastina for breakfast.