You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up.

There is only one pretty child in the world and every mother has it. - Chinese Proverb.

I asked Mom if I was a gifted child... she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.

The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.