1. My mother taught me to appreciate a Job Well Done. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"

2. My mother taught me about Religion. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet!"

3. My mother taught me about Time Travel. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me about Logic. "Because I said so, that's why!"

5. My mother taught me about Foresight. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

6. My mother taught me about Irony. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

7. My mother taught me about Osmosis. "Close your mouth and eat your supper."

8. My mother taught me about Contortionism. "Will you LOOK at the back of you neck!"

9. My mother taught me about Stamina. "You will sit there till your spinach is finished."

10. My mother taught me about Weather. "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

11. My mother taught me about Hypocrisy. "It I told once, I've told you a Million times - don't exaggerate!"

12. My mother taught me about the Circle Of Life. "I brought you into this world and I can take you out!"

13. My mother taught me about Behavior Modification. "Stop acting like you father!"